10.  Your washing machine dances across the floor better than you do.

9.  Because the hardware store is all out of duct tape…you bought it all.

8.  Faded wallpaper and splotchy paint is not “shabby” chic.

7.  Your drywall is no longer dry.

6.  Your HVAC compressor is now subject to airport noise restrictions.

5.  The lopsided bookcase you built in your living room no longer passes for “art.”

4.  When you asked for more “sparks” in the bedroom you didn’t mean literally.

3.  Homeland security has branded your furnace as a weapon of mass destruction.

2.  Your biceps get more of a workout from your plunger than from the gym.

1.  Your leaky faucet and “Sounds of the Rainforest” cd are now indistinguishable.